Wednesday 13 April 2011

Last year I learnt a lot

Last year, I learnt a lot. Maybe more than the rest of my life put together. In a span of less than 24 hours in the month of April, I learnt a lot.

I learnt how not to care about how late it is when you get a call that your friend is not well. I learnt to rush out of my home in 5 mins fully aware that I wouldn't be home before morning. I learnt seamless coordination with friends to reach a certain hospital on time. I learnt to make and take a zillion phone calls in a span of 20 mins. I learnt that nothing is shocking enough in life. I learnt how the simple twitch of a little finger is enough to spark flames of hope in so many people. I learnt to celebrate the little flicker of life in a body on life support. I learnt ow comforting midnight maggi is even in the middle of everything. I suddenly learnt what to say, what to wear, how to conduct myself in that atmosphere. We all learnt how to put aside the grief for a moment and make a speakerphone midnight 'Happy Birthday' call to wish a friend sitting miles away wondering whether to celebrate her birthday or not.

I learnt to wake up early, really early to go to the hospital. I learnt to defy diktats to take a decision. I learnt how weird breakfast really feels in such a situation. I learnt the corridors and doors and reception areas of a certain building very well. I learnt to make continuous calls to Manipal, Bangalore and Ahmedabad, each time with worse news. I learnt to sweeten the pill for friends sitting miles away wishing each moment they could be here. I learnt to recognise someone just by her hair. I learnt to pray, pray hard, really really hard. I learnt to read that heartbeat machine, hoping each minute that the count would rise. I learnt how dignified grief can be. I learnt how one silent tear can represent 18 years of togetherness and how loud wailing talks of 2 months of troubled relationships. I suddenly appreciated the maturity of my friends. I learnt restraint. I learnt to listen to parents without questioning them. I learnt what a great equaliser death is. I learnt to watch her go. I learnt to leave the change at the flower seller and come rushing back before they took her away. I learnt to walk home, quiet, alone. I learnt to talk to a mother who has lost her only child. I learnt to move on, while still holding on. I learnt that life goes on, but that doesn't mean you don't treasure and cherish the past.

I learnt a lot last year.


1 comment:

  1. wow...sam....ami just porlam.....its amazing..my feelings exactly...everyday i hav to pass thru dat place wer we last saw her,n evry littl detail pops into my head..her face,ours faces,us comfortin each oder,tryin to beleiv in da impossibl,littl bursts of hope...n den nothin...neway keep up da good work.

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